Question I fuck a cat now I have a weird rash around my penis, what should I do?
The first step is discovering what the rash is. Most likely, you have a case of bestiality. If so, you’ll have to sacrifice the cat (it can’t be allowed to live, it may tell someone about what happened). Using the sacrificed cat’s blood, thoroughly lubricate your penis. Skin the cat, and dice all the toughest meat. Boil the organs in a small amount of water until it’s completely dissolved. While you’re making your cat stock, roast the meat in a pan with flour. This ensures even and thorough cooking. After the meat is browned completely, add it to your stock. Feed this soup to a second cat, which you will immediately sacrifice. The soup gives the cat greater power in order to defend you from the god of cat virginity. Skin this cat, and once again use its blood as a genital lubricant. Using the tails of the cats, sew a reusable condom. Using the rest of the cat’s skins make a mask. Use both of these to protect yourself from the police, sexually transmitted diseases, the gods, mothers, cross species pregnancy, and friction caused by rubbing against undersized cat genitalia.